


sedative

by cookiemustdie



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Childhood Friends, Codependency, Developing Relationship, Drug Addiction, Friendship/Love, Gen, Idiots in Love, M/M, Recovery, Relapsing, Underage - Freeform, Unhealthy Relationships, a lot of euphoria references lol, i'm kinda proud of this one actually, still cringy tho ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28799343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiemustdie/pseuds/cookiemustdie
Summary: Miles, Alex and their bad habits.
Relationships: Alex Turner (Musician)/Original Male Character(s), Miles Kane & Alex Turner, Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

"Where are we going?"

"Man, I told you already; it's the last party before school starts again, at Nathan's," Matt answered Miles.

The boy just sighed.

"C'mon, mate, it's gonna be fun. Plus, you were gone for an entire month, maybe it's time to catch up and talk to the boys," he optimistically said. "Look, we're here."

It was a rather large and modern house. Nathan was their classmate and, although Miles didn't know him that well, it was well known the kid was part of a somewhat wealthy family.  
They rang the bell, being welcomed by the owner of the house looking a bit... _funny_.

"Matt, you came!" he said, with a tone that showed he was, obviously, quite drunk.

"Yeah, I did, haha," Matt responded with a smile.

"Come on in, now."

They both entered the house, immediately stunned by the music blasting out. There were people everywhere; dancing, flirting, drinking, smoking, even consuming other types of substances.  
Matt smiled and went into the living room, more specifically to the sofa in it, greeting the rest of his friends.

"Matty!" Nick greeted him, followed by Jamie, who was by his side.

The mentioned one returned the greeting.

"And Miles, you're finally back!" Nick got up, hugging his friend. He was always this affectionate with his loved ones. Miles smiled.

Even though he had a good time while back in his hometown, he had missed his friends a lot.

"Come, have a drink with us." The brown-haired boy sat down with his friends, accepting the can of beer Jamie handed him, preparing himself for a long talk of reunion.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

Time had passed rather quickly.

After they finished talking, Matt went in search of Breana, his new girlfriend.  
Nick and Jamie had gone somewhere else, Miles didn't remember where.

He stayed there, on the couch, alone.

He liked to party, but for some reason, he felt a little bored and not in the mood tonight.

When he finished his beer, he grabbed another glass that was on the small table in front of him, wincing at the strange taste of the contents inside it. He rolled his eyes and dropped the glass. He lit a cigarette and stood up, deciding to go outside to smoke in peace. But he would have to go through 'the dance floor' to even reach the door.

Obviously, everyone was moving around carelessly, making things difficult for the little boy.

Someone pushed him, making a domino effect, ending with Miles shoving someone else.

"Shit, sorry!" he yelled, hoping the boy would hear him over the music.

He turned around a bit annoyed, but something made him change his expression to a more surprised one.

"Miles?"

The mentioned narrowed his eyes.

"Alex?"

He smiled and got closer to hug him.

"God, it's been so long, Mi!" He exclaimed happily, while the youngest just stood hard in place, his cigarette still in his fingers.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" The older boy pointed to the door with his head.

They both were able to get out the room at last, heading for a tree in the big courtyard. They sat down, Miles took a drag and offered it to Alex.

"Thanks," he said with a soft smile.

"You're welcome." Miles watched the cylinder get between his lips. He was left admiring the beauty that was next to him, and how it inhaled and exhaled.

He always liked Alex, ever since they were little. The truth was that, back in their early days, they were the best friends in the world; they did everything together, Miles loved and felt towards him as more than a friend. But time went by, and they took different paths and attitudes; Turner became a little more troublesome, and started hanging out with other types of people, going from one party to another. While Kane was somewhat shy, every so often he'd go out and smoke with his friends, but nothing else.  
However, both always had that unconditional affection, they always tried to take care of each other. They were best friends after all.

"So, how was Liverpool?" Alex asked and returned the cigarette, bringing Miles out of his trance.

"Uhm, pretty good. I was with my family, but mostly I wrote songs," he commented, grabbing his cigarette.

"Really? Great. I'm still writing too, I thought you didn't do that anymore." He smiled while looking at him in the eyes.

Miles smiled back.

"You know what? _I missed you_ ," he said, getting closer to him.

"Oh yeah? So, I assume you weren't with anyone else and forgot about me, right?" he dramatically said, putting a hand on his head and laughing.

Miles laughed. "Ah come on, you know that _I'd never leave you, much less forget you_."

Alex slowly stopped laughing.

" _I missed you too, Miles._ "

He rested his head on the other's shoulder, making him feel a bit nervous about the touch. In the end, he decided to just enjoy the moment, resting his head on Alex's.

 _'Now seems like a good time,'_ he said to himself.

"Alex?"

"Mhm?"

"There's something I've wanted to tell you for a while now," his tone seemed nervous and somewhat serious.

Alex got up normally again and asked, "What's up?"

"I... Uhm, I... shit," he muttered under his breath, feeling more nervous than ever.

What if all his fears came true? What if this would ruin their friendship forever? If Alex had already had someone else?  
They were both quite estranged by themselves, why make things worse?

Though, on the other hand...  
It was well known that they both liked boys and that they've always been quite close. Maybe, in the best of cases, Alex would let it go and it'd turn out to be something they'd laugh at in the future.

_Fuck it._

"I think I like y-"

"Alex!" A female voice made both of them turn their heads to see where or who it came from.

"Katie!" The boy got up to greet the girl with open arms.

Miles couldn't help feeling jealous and slightly irritated.

"Miles, Katie. Katie, Miles," Alex introduced them.

She had long, straight hair and dyed a pretty flamboyant orange, she was slim and nearly the same height as Alex. The girl smiled at him sincerely and happily. Miles returned the gesture and immediately stood up, to start walking slowly, finishing his cigarette alone and throwing it on the floor.

"Wait, what were you going to tell me?" Alex asked, approaching him.

"Mmm, it wasn't that important. See you tomorrow at school, okay?" he said without expression.

"Okay..." The older boy didn't sound so convinced. "Anyway," he leaned a little closer to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "take care, alright?"

"Y-Yeah, sure, you too," he said as he could, somewhat shocked. "Goodbye. It was nice meeting you, Katie," he referred to Alex's apparent close friend, trying to be polite.

"Likewise," she told him, showing all of her teeth.

Finally, Miles smiled farewell at Alex. He turned around and went into the house to get out of it again, he was already a bit tired, to tell the truth.

On the way home, he noticed a bittersweet feeling in his stomach. He put his hand to where Alex had kissed him, smiling.

However, he stopped when he remembered what had happened before that.

Perhaps it was a sign, a clue for him who should never tell the truth.

Besides, he quite doubted that Alex would like him back. The oldest boy could have anyone he wants, why him?

He just sighed, trying to ignore the whole thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop, not me uploading yet another old work 🤡
> 
> buckle up people, this one's pretty angsty. 
> 
> pls remember to take a look at my other works, u can even share them if u want, i wouldn't mind owo
> 
> sorry if there's any mistake!
> 
> \- may 💖


	2. Chapter 2

The bell rang and the whole class came out for lunch.

"God, I'm going to kill him!" Alex appeared between the crowd of people, holding a paper that seemed to be an exam in his hand.

"Who?" Miles asked, amused.

"Professor Wood! We just started the term and I'm already doing horrible.

Miles just laughed.

"I'm serious! I dunno what I'm going to do," the older boy said, sadly.

"Aw c'mon, don't be like that. Look, I can help you if you want."

"Really?"

"Well, of course. I could go to your house, or you could come to mine, and I'll help you with your assignments and exams, and such," he proposed.

Both had already reached Miles' locker, who had already opened it to look for something.

Alex looked at him.

"Oh, you're the best!" He hugged him forcefully and gave him short kisses all over his face, making the kid blush immediately. "I promise you I'll make an effort, okay? I have to go now, but I'll see you later. Bye!"

And just like that, he was gone, leaving Miles with a silly smile on his face.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

It'd been almost a month since Miles had returned from his holidays, since school had started, and since he'd started talking to Alex again. His happiness could reach heaven, the fact that he was getting his best friend back made him feel very happy. Besides, each time they got closer, it felt as if, finally, everything was going the way it should be.

They were now going home, all the boys together again. Well, they all got along, and, after being without any contact for so long, there was no shortage of conversation.

However, Jamie, Nick and Matt were the first to leave, leaving Miles and Alex to continue their way.

'How are your parents? I just realized I haven't asked you about them this whole time," the younger boy commented.

"Uhm, fine, I guess. They travel a lot, you know; furthermore, even when they're at home, we don't talk more than necessary.

"... How come?"

"Well, they don't get into my life; and neither do I in theirs.

"And that doesn't bother you?" _The situation seemed a bit... worrying._

"Miles... I really don't want to talk about it," the older answered, a little cold and clearly uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to help, I don't want to seem... intrusive or anything."

"It's okay... I always liked that about you anyway," Alex said with a smile, drastically changing his mood.

"What?"

"The way you are; how kind and positive you are."

Miles couldn't help but blush.

"Agh, come on, I'm not that great," he said, playing dumb. He grabbed the keys to his house and said goodbye. "Are you sure you're going to be okay? Don't you want me to come in?"

"Mhm," Alex emmited, nodding his head. "Don't forget about Saturday; since mother and father won't be here, it'd be good to take some advantage of it," he said with a funny tone. "Take care."

Miles waved goodbye, trying to act normal.

_Saturday._  
_Yes, he'd finally tell him everything on Saturday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow,, such a shitty chapter huh
> 
> dw, i promise it gets better (it doesn't 🤡)
> 
> i'm feeling pretty shitty tonight, hope you're having a good evening tho~
> 
> sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> \- may 💖


	3. Chapter 3

And so the big Saturday arrived.

"Okay, but, how are you supposed to tell him? It should be romantic, but not so mellow... Well, it depends. I mean, I don't know what kind of things Alex's into, but-"

"Stop it! I don't know, Zach, I don't know what I'm gonna tell him!" Miles said maddened, growling in a sigh.

 _Zach Dawes_ , the boy from his music class who's now his best friend and confidante.

"Well, I'm just tryna help. I'm going too anyway, so I guess I could do something," he said, winking at him from where he was lying.

Miles was looking at himself in the mirror of his room, getting ready for the big night. He was more than nervous, he'd never put on and took off so many clothes in such a short time.

"Look, you're gonna be just fine, you'll see that he'll immediately fall at your feet," Dawes encouraged him. "Now, let's go to that party."

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

The music was loud, as well as the people's voices.

It's been a long time since Miles really visited his home, and this was a strange way to see it again.

Both boys, mostly Miles, were somewhat impressed. They soon went in with their group of friends, until Kane managed to locate Alex's face, who was also with Matt.

Kane touched Dawes as a farewell and went to find his lover.

"Miles, you came!" Turner exclaimed, excited like a little kid.

"Wow, you okay, mate? I think you need some air," Helders told him, due to how red he was, hitting his back.

"N-No! I'm fine. In fact, I wanted to talk to ya for a moment, Al."

"Sure, what's going on?"

"... Alone, if you don't mind," he said in an embarrassing laugh.

Matt left with a mischievous smile, but not before saying, "Go and get him, tiger", making the pair of teenagers laugh with some shame.

"D'ya fancy a beer?" Alex asked, guiding him to the kitchen, where there were fewer people.

"Sure," the younger boy replied. "How long did you say your parents would leave?"

"All weekend, they'll be back on Monday morning."

_Perfect._

"Anyway, what did you want to talk about? You've been acting weird since you first came."

_Shit, right._

Alex sat next to him on the counter, handing him a bottle.

"Well, there's something I've been wanting to tell you... for a long time, actually."

"Mhm," he muttered, drinking a little.

"Alex..." Miles straightened up, more confidently, making Alex put on a serious face and pay more attention to him.

_C'mon, you can do this._

The youngest got closer to his face, being only inches away from those lips he so longed to taste.

"Mi?" Alex asked, softly.

They both plunged into the moment, and leaned a little closer, closing their eyes.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Someone's voice puzzled Alex.

He turned his head and got down to head back into the living room.

"Wait here," he told Miles, who disobeyed him anyway.

There was a boy, light brown haired and tall, who had thrown Alex's English classmate's glass.

"Ah c'mon, don't be a crybaby, you can get another one,' the mentioned said, turning his gaze to Turner, who, now that Miles noticed, was also looking at him.

The older boy rushed past until he crashed into him. "What are you doing here, Luke?"

"What, aren't you happy to see me?" The boy tried to kiss him, without success.

Alex shook his head and pushed him away. "Go away, you're not welcome here."

"Oh, come on, baby," he insisted, now actually stealing a kiss from him.

Miles lost his patience. He went up to them and grabbed Luke by the shoulders of his shirt. "Hey mate, I think he already told you to get out."

"Ooh, and who's this? Your new prince charming?"

"Miles, please, stay out of it." Alex grabbed the lad and pushed him away from the place. "I'll be fine, go."

Due to the way he asked, Miles listened to him, however, he stayed close.

"Why did you come back?" back with Luke, Alex sadly asked. "Why didn't you call? Was it that hard for you?"

" _Love_ , I'm already here, right?" he replied, avoiding everything.

"No, you're just doing it again. How do I know you're not gonna leave me again?"

"Aly... I came back for a reason," he said, looking into his eyes and pulling out a lock of hair that was on his face.

And just like that, Alex, who anyway knew this was wrong and he'd suffer again, fell back into his spell. He kissed him deeply, breaking a boy's heart who was only a few steps away.

"Well, you're fucked, buddy," Zach said, sipping his drink. "You good?"

Miles just stood there, watching how yet another opportunity was again thrown away, fearing this one would be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still don't know how the fuck does this book have so many popularity on wattpad, like ????  
> just..... why  
> honestly, my favorite part of this whole fic it's the ending istg /hj.
> 
> @ cookiemustdie on tumblr !
> 
> sorry if there's any mistake !
> 
> \- may 💖


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks.

Two _fucking_ weeks in which it seemed that Alex hadn't even thought about his friends, nor his existence and nor their study sessions!

"I mean, what does he see in him? Besides, did I tell you that, barely just five seconds before that, he was going to kiss me instead? Me!"

"Yes, Miles, you've already been repeating it to me these last two weeks," Zach irritatedly said as he closed his locker. "Look, why don't you just talk to the boy? Like, 'hey, why were you such a jerk to me?'"

"No, talking is not an option. And, I already know why." Just at that moment, Miles saw Alex, who had his eyes and hands glued to his phone, smiling in every way possible.

Miles wished to cause at least one smile on him.

And, as if by magic, Turner looked straight ahead, smiling once more.

"Mi!" he exclaimed.

"Shit," Kane and Dawes muttered, the last one leaving to get out of the situation.

"Hi there! Sorry I haven't talked to you all this time, I was busy."

_Ah, yes, I bet._

"Anyway, I'm here and we have to talk," the older boy said with a serious tone. "Come with me." He took Miles by his hands, whose body tensed due to nerves and the sudden touch.

Soon, they were already in the back of the school, where there was no one around.

"I come here often to have a smoke or just some time alone by myself," Alex explained, sitting on the floor.

Miles did the same, being next to him. "So, what do you wanna talk about?"

Alex looked at him a bit embarrassed. "Listen, I know I was a twat that night, so I just wanted to apologize... for everything. And about the kiss-"

"Nah, forget about that, it was a mistake," Miles hastened to say.

Alex stayed hard in his place.

"I mean, now you're with _that boy_ and, on top of that, I was very drunk that night, so it doesn't really matter." The younger boy laughed nervously, hoping that his lie wouldn't be discovered.

" _Oh_ , okay." Alex gave a small smile, somewhat sad, but Miles was too nervous to notice. "Anyway, is there any chance that you'll still help me with college? I really need help with this."

"Sure, you just tell me when do we start."

"Oh, thank you!" Alex gave him a hug.

He loved this, the fact that he was one of the few people who knew the real Alex; a very dreamy and sweet boy, who, even though seemed a little rude and serious, was actually just a shy and bright kid. When he was about eleven years old, Miles promised the world to always protect him. Hell, if it were up to him, he'd have him in a bubble where no one would hurt him. And now, six years later, none of that has changed.

"Mi?" Alex called him by his nickname, still hugging his neck.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little disclaimer: this is one of my first works, therefore it's not that good. i was around 14 yo when i wrote it, the first few chapters are painfully short and boring, but pls bear with me 🤠
> 
> hope you've enjoyed this one, i find both miles and alex so cute, i love 'em
> 
> @ cookiemustdie on tumblr !
> 
> \- may 💖


	5. Chapter 5

"Touch me," Alex moaned desperately in Luke's ear.

The boy fulfilled his wish, playing with his member over the fabric of his pants, making the teen go crazy.

Soon their shirts were gone, as were their pants and underwear.

This last month had literally been just like heaven for Alex. Here he was, with the love of his life back, kissing and touching him everywhere.

The room was filled with moans, sighs, and other kinds of "dirty" sounds, combined with Paul McCartney's voice singing _'Why don't we do it in the road?'_

Skin against skin.

Mouth against mouth.

"I love you," they said to each other as they climaxed.

Alex felt full, complete. For the first time after so much abstinence.

However, what he didn't know was that, just a few blocks away, someone he knew quite well was suffering from the same kind of feeling. Abstinence.

Miles missed him terribly, even though he saw him just a couple of hours ago. He felt like he could never get enough of his company, of him. It was like his drug, his strange addiction.

 _'Yer blues'_ started playing in his room. It was one in the morning and he couldn't sleep.

He felt stupid about what he was about to do. But he did it nonetheless.

Alex was about to fall asleep, until...

_Ping!_

His phone rang, indicating a new notification.

_hey u awake??_

He smiled when he saw who the message was from. He moved, trying not to wake up his boyfriend, who was hugging his waist, his head resting on his chest.

_i am now :p_

_sorry, didn't mean to bother you_

_oh no no, u don't <3_

They kept talking for about half an hour more. Turner told him he was spending the night with Luke, which wasn't to Kane's total liking, but what else could he do?

They also talked about trivial things, until the conversation came to an end, after they arranged what time Miles would go home to study.

_well, see u tomorrow, gn aly :)✨_

_u too mi, love youu <33_

God, how could he feel this way for just a couple of emojis?

Miles tried to erase his smile and rolled his eyes to himself, getting under his sheets, wishing he had never come into the world.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

_Ding dong._

It was three in the afternoon and he was in front of Alex's door. He glanced around the big house, feeling a bit nostalgic.

Finally, the door opened.

Even so, Miles' smile instantly faded once he realized that it wasn't Alex who was welcoming him at the front, but Luke.

He had his hair a bit disheveled and a cigarette between his lips.

"Hi," he simply said.

"... Hi," Miles replied with a cold tone.

"... So, are you going to come in or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?"

Miles didn't respond to that and just entered the house, his hands firmly gripping the straps of his backpack.

He felt like he was five years old again, intimidated by the presence of an older being, or that at first glance seemed like he was.

"Where's Alex?" he asked when they reached the living room.

"Showering. Why don't you sit?" Luke asked in a surprisingly kind way. "You want a drink?"

"... You don't have to pretend that you like me," Miles said. And before the opponent could answer, he continued, "Besides, I don't want anything from you."

The tension could be felt in the air.

"Listen, I've decided not to be an idiot with you, but you're making it hard for me," the older boy said a bit irritated, taking a deep drag. "Alex cares about you... so we can do this the nice way or not, it's your choice."

At that moment, Luke approached Miles in an intimidating way, looking directly into his eyes. However, only a mocking laugh came out of his mouth.

"You're just a kid."

Kane remained in place.

"In that case, he is too."

"Pff, Alex is not like you."

"No, he is not, I know that very well. But I also know that I love him way too much for an idiot to come and hurt him."

"What are you saying?" he raised his voice.

Before Miles could answer, Alex appeared in the room.

"Hey, what's all the fuss about?" he asked in a funny way, smiling.

Jesus, how can he be so cute even in this kind of situation?

"Nothing, baby. Miles came for his classes or whatever." He approached Alex to kiss him, making Miles' blood boil inside. "Would you open the door for me?" he asked with a smile, grabbing his shirt, which was lying on the sofa.

"Sure," Alex replied. "I'll be right back," he said, referring to Miles.

The brown haired beatle head just nodded.

He looked out the window as the happy couple said their good-byes.

He sighed.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

"Oh, there you are. Well, shall we start?"

They were both in the house owner's room, Alex took a while due to the insistent kisses of his boyfriend and the fact that he couldn't find Miles anywhere.

But finally, the two were together, in Alex's bed.

Kane gave him a reluctant smile and pulled his books out of his backpack.

"Okay, today we must see math 'cause the truth is I'm shit at it." Turner laughed and grabbed his supplies. "So-"

"Why are you with him?" the youngest interrupted him.

"... What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Mi...-"

"He's a twat, I don't get why you're with him." Miles began to feel uneasy, his breathing and tone of voice agitated. "You deserve someone better, someone who's always on your side, someone who loves your flaws, someone like..."

_Me._

Alex was shocked.

They both just stared at each other, their mouths half open and their bodies tense.

"I should better go." Miles quickly got out of bed.

It was then when the slightly curly haired boy came out of his trance and exploded.

"I'm with him because I love him," he said, taking up the matter. "And- And he loves me too, I... I know he does." He gave a small laugh, almost annoyed. "What about you? ... Where have you been all those years?"

Miles turned to see him. "What do you mean?"

"Where were you all those years? You know, the ones you left me alone."

"You being serious? Alex, you started hanging out with all those weirdos at school, you weren't even talking to me anymore. All you did was go out and get fucked, shagging everything that moved- I was scared, Alex. We were just kids; we are just kids."

The older boy felt his vision more and more blurry.

"This boy and this lifestyle are ruining you. This is not you. I've known you since I can remember, Aly-"

"No, you don't know me at all, not anymore.

The boy didn't know what to say.

"Go away," Alex said, already with tears on his face.

"Hey, don't be like that, we can talk-"

"Leave, now!" He grabbed his things and threw them outside his room.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?!"

"Leave! I don't want to see you anymore! If I'm as weird and miserable as you say, go ahead and get the fuck out here!" He was pushing Miles as hard as he could.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Go!" Alex fell due to a rapid movement caused by Miles, making him cry harder.

Kane looked at him with pity, bending down to help him. But he was greeted with two weak arms pushing and hitting him.

He got up and decided to leave, grabbing his things on the way, leaving Alex crying uncontrollably.

On the way back home, he thought maybe leaving him alone would be the best, for now.

Or maybe not.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Found you!" Miles yelled, scaring him and tickling his sides._

_Alex laughed with all his might, begging his best friend to stop._

_He loved coming over and staying the night at Miles'. He loved how the whole family treated him, almost as if it were his own; he loved the delicious meals that Miles' mother made; he loved the fact that he had an excuse to sleep with Miles, and hold him all night._

_After playing around all afternoon, dinner came. Then bedtime._

_They were both in their pajamas, which looked quite childish, obviously._

_Miles grabbed his light while Alex grabbed the storybook. The two of them crawled under the blankets, sitting down to create some kind of tent._

_"Mi?" the older boy asked in a sleepy tone, after a while of the other reading to him._

_"Yes?"_

_"Do you think I'm ugly?"_

_"What?" Miles said, incredulous._

_"Tyler, eighth grade, said I am," Alex told him, a bit sad._

_And how not to be? He was only eight years old._

_"Well... Don't listen to him. I think you're very pretty." The younger tried to cheer him up, although he wasn't necessarily lying either._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yup. I'd say that you're the prettiest boy I know; oh, and also the smartest," he said with a smile, to which the older responded with another. "Let's go to sleep, okay?"_

_They both settled into Miles' bed, having to squish a little, but neither of them bothered._

_"Goodnight," Alex said softly, squinting at Miles._

_"Goodnight, Aly."_

•~•~•~•

He opened his eyes.

04:00 A.M.

He sighed, closing them once more.

He remembered what had happened earlier with Miles, holding back the urge to cry again.

It wasn't the fact that he'd "attacked" Luke or something, but that it rather made him remember things; his reality to be more exact. The fact that he was all alone, that his parents cared little for him, that his boyfriend was a jerk, that he never knew what true love was.

I mean, he did love Luke. But something in their relationship was just not right.

God.

Miles was right.

This was all his fault. He was the one who started making bad decisions, and consequently ended up like this.

However (and this is not to justify himself), he had his reasons.

Loneliness, emptiness, sadness and other feelings, was what made him the person he was.

_The horrible person he was._

After a lot of thinking, he got up. He searched for his jacket in the darkness of his room, eager to find it.

_Bingo._

He pulled out the bag that contained that beautiful kind of snow that Nathan had given him a couple of days ago.

He emptied half of the medium bag and braced himself for the best.

Three lines later, he was happier than ever.

It had been a while since he had done these kinds of things. It was so fucking cool. So cool that he decided to call his boyfriend to share his gift.

"Ahh... God." Alex sighed heavily, watching as the light brown haired boy continued to consume. "It's like being in fucking heaven."

Luke didn't answer, and after he finished he looked at him, getting too close to his face.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, then caressing the boy's cheek in front of him.

Turner smiled, kissing him and getting on top of him with clumsy movements. The clash of mouths deepened, driving our protagonist crazy, feeling in a total state of euphoria, too strong for his body and mind.

He laughed in a silly and somewhat slow way while the clothes of both boys were disappearing. He was too high.

Without realizing it, he was soon moaning his boyfriend's name, bouncing on his member.

He felt the light in his room getting brighter, almost blinding him. Everything was moving, he felt a bit dizzy.

In any way, he finally got off his high a little quickly and with no problems; almost without noticing it, with his body and hair a bit sweaty.

"I love you, prince, never forget that. Don't ever forget that you're mine." Luke whispered in his ear, still a bit agitated, remembering with fury that kid who had come to visit his partner yesterday afternoon.

Alex had his gaze fixed on an indefinite point in the room, panting a little, hugging the boy below him by the neck.

" _Never, my love._ "

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

Miles was lifting his foot over and over, eager.

It was already the third hour of the day, and Alex was nowhere to be found.

Regret, guilt and worry were eating him inside as he looked at the seat of the aforementioned, empty.

The truth was he wasn't paying the slightest attention to chemistry class, he was busier wondering whether to text Alex or not.

The day ended faster than normal for Miles; however, the doubt was still there.

"You okay?" Zach asked him after leaving school.

But before Kane could answer, a voice interrupted him.

"Hey, you!"

_That voice... again?_

That girl with orange hair approached them.

"Hey... Sorry for bothering you. I don't know if you remember me, I'm-"

" _Katie_ ," Miles interrupted her. "What's going on? Is Alex okay?" he asked, thinking the worst.

"Oh, well, I don't know." She smiled. "You see, I went on a trip for a couple of days. In fact, I came to look for him, I was gonna ask you if you had seen him."

"Oh, no. He didn't come to school".

"Weird..." It seemed that the girl stayed thinking for a moment. "Anyway, thanks. " She smiled and then put her hands in the pockets of her jacket and left.

"Umm, what the hell is wrong with you?" Zach spat.

"Huh?"

"Uhh, hello! A beautiful girl just came and you didn't introduce us!"

"Oh my God," Miles said frustrated, still walking his way home.

"I'm serious! Jesus, you should have more consideration for your straight, single friend." Dawes pretended to be offended.

"Ugh, grow up. You could have talked to her."

"And look like an idiot? No, thanks."

Miles rolled his eyes, smiling for the first time that day.

° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °

The two friends arrived at the youngest's house, throwing their backpacks in the mess of his room.

_Ping!_

Miles grabbed his phone, wondering who had written to him.

_gonna have a party tonight, u should come._

Miles frowned, looking at Alex's message.

"What's the matter?" Zach asked somewhat concerned, noticing the expression on his friend's face.

"Alex... will have a party."

"Wow, how strange," the other said sarcastically.

"No no, but we fought yesterday and... I don't know, I didn't expect him to text me," Kane said, confused.

"Well, maybe he wants to make amends, I dunno." Dawes went to the bedroom window to have a cigarette. "Besides, if we go maybe, I'll have a chance to see the beauty we saw a while ago," he said, smiling.

Miles laughed, still a bit taken aback by the situation.

_Who cares. Maybe Zach's right._

He left his cell phone on his nightstand and started looking for clothes for the long-awaited meeting.


End file.
